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WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?                                                     Print this page 
Written by: Fabienne Marneau 
You all know that song from beautiful, energetic Tina Turner: “What’s love got to do with it"? 
This is one of my favorite mottos when I am explaining that romantic love, passion and idyllic love are often very far away from true love.

Actions define the kind of love we are capable of.

Love can only be unconditional or it is not love. This is not negotiable.

To be complete, love needs the ingredients of trust, respect, freedom, patience, peace, harmony, forgiveness, kindness and aliveness.

  ♥ Trust

To love someone you need to trust that person rather than be suspicious of their actions and/or thoughts. It is almost impossible to trust others if, as a child, you were mistreated or lied to. Healing is necessary to reestablish a sense of safety with your emotions.

Fear of being hurt would block the flow of confidence and carefree feeling.

“I put my trust in the Infinite Source of Love.
I am guided and safe.”

  ♥ Respect

We all expect to be respected, but first we have to respect others, regardless of their actions toward us. We NEVER have the right to be disrespectful toward another human being or animal, as far as I am concerned.

Do not mistake being caring for being needy.

The first one makes himself available to others; the other one is suffocating and demanding.

Neediness is the opposite of love. If you trust your love ones, you trust that they will do what is best freely, in harmony with their own timing and willingness.

By sending telepathic thoughts to them or, even better, to the Divine Source of love and wisdom, you can communicate in a more refined way. It shows respect, reverence and self-confidence, and requests the blessings of the higher-self because you are capable of putting your desires and thoughts under his guidance and grace.

The same behavior is recommended in a sexual engagement. Respecting your partner’s availability and needs goes both ways. Communication and respect of the free will of your lover is the key for a successful harmonic and romantic relationship.

The French gallantry used to be praised all over the world. I remember my father saying: “Men propose and women dispose.” Because men have the physical strength they need to show delicacy in their approach. I observed my father's behavior toward my mother and I, acting as a real gentlemanly figure. Beyond the daily gestures such as serving himself last at the table or giving away the best pieces of a dish at the dinner table, he always tried to avoid selfishness.

“I love you just the way you are and wish to support you in your physical, emotional and spiritual needs as much as I can.
I am asking the Divine to guide me and fill my heart and soul with infinite love, tenderness and devotion.
I trust my love to radiate with compassion and altruism.”

 ♥ Freedom

It is so important to “set me free!” as one song says. One must love freely, without obligations. The guilt trip that parents play with their children can be so damaging to their creativity and desire to explore out there…

Many people are surprised when we tell them that my husband and I let our young boys travel alone in Europe. They always end up with family when their plane or train arrives but have the gift of freedom outside the cocoon of parental guidance. They exercise their learning abilities, and we always get wonderful feedback from their trips.

In couples, being happy for the other’s happiness outside the marriage is also liberating and a source of great joy. The golden rule:“Do to others what you wish them to do to you” also applies to that inherent need for freedom.

My husband loves to go with one of our dear friends to see “Formula1 Races” at least once a year. I went with them many times but even without me he enjoys the excitement of his hobby.

Who wishes to live with a partner who feels obligated out of guilt or demand? I love the image of a butterfly on your hand. By keeping your hand open the butterfly is free to fly away. If he wishes to, he can fly back to your loving hand and enjoy your company.

Before getting married, I let Patrice go back to France because he needed to be sure that I was the one for him and that he would be happy living in the USA. He asked me to wait for him until he could be sure. I prayed every day that my butterfly would come back only if it was the best and highest good for both of us. When he finally came back to me, I ask him to commit to the relationship because I did not want to impose twice what my heart had to endure. That was setting boundaries out of self-respect and self-love.

Never dismiss yourself. If you do not love yourself, you can’t expect others to love you.

“I respect the freedom of every one.
I seek the best and higher good of all involve in my life.
I love everybody and everything unconditionally including me”

 ♥ Patience, Peace & Harmony

When our expectations are not met, we build up frustration. Never ask for patience because you will attract more reasons to be patient. Instead, ask to receive the insights capable to resolve your challenges.

Remember that “there is always a solution” and that all experiences (even those that appear negative) are sources of learning, a chance to balance Karma and take responsibility for what is our part in the drama of life.

Patience is a virtue, in the sense that it shows to the universe our trust and faith by recognizing that all is in order. There are no mistakes, only lessons to be learned.

When you release the need to be right you create new possibilities for peace and harmony.

“I take full responsibility for my actions and thoughts, in all directions of time and space.
I release the need to be right.
I believe in miracles under grace.
I welcome peace and harmony in every area of my life.”

* Forgiveness

Who has never needed to be forgiven for wrong doing or hurtful words?

It is essential to give to others the same courtesies of forgiveness.

Forgiveness removes guilt and creates space for love to grow.

Key for forgiveness: Never bring back the painful topic once it has been forgiven.

If you can’t let go of the thought of the violation you need to seek spiritual healing in regards to that matter as soon as possible. It is hurting you, your loved one and the witnesses of your resentment, such as your children (if any).

Remember that forgiving is not about agreeing with wrong doing, it is about freeing yourself from resentment, anger and judgment.

“I forgive myself and others from the past, the present and the future.
My heart is full of compassion; I am at peace with myself and everybody in this world.”

* Kindness

I remember a time when I was mean to a very nice teacher that I had in second grade. I was too young to understand that the weakness I saw was in fact kindness in this young woman. It was only with the awareness of my adult life that I understood the difference.

Without a kind heart, love cannot express its music and magic.

Affirmation: “My heart is kind, protected and nurtured by the love of the Divine”

   ♥ Aliveness

The fruits of a peaceful heart offer excitement and fun to our daily life. The gift of creativity flows bringing more opportunities for joy and aliveness according to the Law of Attraction.

Affirmation: “Let the magic of love bring aliveness to my heart and soul.”

Please e-mail me your questions and comments. Any feedback helps me to improve the level of my communication with you.

In our next Seminar, we will have a chance to evaluate and transform the beliefs that are limiting the flow of success and harmony in all areas of our life, including LOVE!