Written by: Fabienne Marneau
« CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR VS RESPECTFUL FREEDOM »
Dr. David Hawkins wonderful
book « Power vs. Force » helped me years ago to conceive what power really means. It took me
several years to be able to apply this knowledge to my own reality…
When as a child you experience controlling parents (even from a
loving controlling family), you assume growing up that control means power and you get into the
habit of using force (verbally or through attitudes) to get what you want from the people that
are close to you: spouse and/or children.
• Over protective mothers (sometime fathers) usually are in
complete denial, justifying their attitude with: “but it is because I love you, I want to
protect you”. These are all good intentions, but still a controlling behavior.
• Manipulative spouse
will be jealous, insecure about themselves, sometime making themselves sick to get attention,
or become withdrawn not wanting to talk to the other spouse for several days as
There are many ways to control others and we all do it to some
The question is: “are we willing to change this unhealthy
In my practice I switch from doing direct healing to empowering
healing techniques (see Article on Healing), so my clients can learn the cause of their
challenges and learn self-help tools to heal and grow. The result is more profound and lasting.
Plus it gives a sense of being in power instead of a feeling of inferiority and
Manipulation and controlling behavior are the opposite of
respectful and honest communication. When we release the “need for being right”, we set others
and ourselves free. Integrity allows self-esteem and unconditional love to grow and
Here are few
Mantra-Affirmations to set you free of controlling behavior:
• I am safe and
supported by the Universe.
• I am free to choose what I want to do and
who I wish to be, every day, in many ways.
• I have the power to redesign my life,
• I am self-sustained and
• I release the need to be right or to
• My willingness to respect others
unconditionally, bring joy to my heart.
• I forgive myself and everybody involved
in my life from the past, present and future.
• As I set free my loved ones, I set myself
free of boundaries.
• I attract unconditional love as I give
• I experience integrity and kindness in all my relationships every day, in every
• I feel gratitude for my freedom.
Since I have applied this
awareness to my children’s education using a good sense of humor and offering choices with
rewards, I am getting better results as well. They are happier in their social life and have
a better attitude at school. As for me, I don’t stress myself quite as much as I used
“Relax, be happy” is my mantra everywhere I go!
Try it at work or at home and please send me your always
Light, Love and Gratitude, Fabienne.